Without You
by obsessedwithstabler
Summary: Mike visits with Bobby.


A sad story that's been tumbling around in my mind. Have kleenex ready, and enjoy!

Dedicated to InfinityStar, because she makes me wanna torture Bobby...even more than I normally do.

Disclaimer: Not mine!

CICICICICICICICICICICICICI

Mike Logan let out a slow, steadying breath as he walked into the building. The past few months had been a hell worse than he had ever seen in his life.

He shoved his hands into his pockets. A visit to this place had become part of his daily routine. Why? Because he felt the need to at least attempt to connect with one of the residents in this place. He took his friendships very seriously.

A nurse smiled and gave him a friendly wave. "Good afternoon, Mr. Logan."

"Hey, Susie. How is he today?"

"He had some difficulty this morning, but he's settled now. He knows you're coming to visit him."

Mike nodded. "Then I better not disappoint him."

"Have a nice visit, Mr. Logan."

"Thanks, Susie." He continued down the hall.

Four doors down, he stopped at his destination. For a moment, he stared at the nameplate on the door. It mocked him, and he had to tamp down a surge of anger. This wasn't right. None of this was.

Before his anger grew, he forced a smile to his face and knocked on the door before opening it. "Hey, pal."

The occupant of the room briefly glanced up from the magazine he was reading. There was no warmth in his eyes. There was only pain.

It was a look Mike was sadly familiar with. "Got something for you." He reached into his jacket, producing a paper bag.

The other man glanced at the bag.

Mike drew closer. "It's a pastrami on rye. I smuggled it in for you." He offered the bag to his friend.

Slowly he took the bag and set it aside. Then he glanced past Mike. "Did Eames come with you?"

Mike felt his heart ache. "No, pal. She… couldn't make it today."

Bobby's face fell. "I miss her," he muttered, looking like a petulant child.

_Me, too_, Mike thought.

Bobby studied his friend for a few moments, then returned his attention to the magazine in his hand.

Mike stood there for a minute before finally making his way to the other chair in the room. Sitting down, he rested his hands on his knees.

After a minute, Bobby looked at Mike again. "Why couldn't Eames come? Was she visiting her nephew?"

Mike's palms began sweating as the phantom stench of iron permeated his nostrils. "No, buddy. She just couldn't make it."

"It's not like her," Bobby complained.

"I know." Screams echoed in his ears, mixed with primal cries of rage and loss.

Something changed in Bobby's eyes, something that Mike missed entirely. Later, he would be angry with himself for missing the simple shift.

Bobby suddenly stood, his magazine falling to the floor. "Where is Eames?"

Mike jumped to his feet. "Calm down, buddy." He tried to make himself as non-confrontational as possible. "Everything's gonna be okay."

But Bobby wasn't listening. His eyes glazed over as his breathing grew louder.

Acting fast, Mike stepped in front of his friend. "Bobby? Stay with me, buddy." He reached out to touch Bobby's shoulder. "Come on, man."

The moment his hand touched Bobby's shoulder, Bobby jerked away, crying out.

The doors flung open, and a nurse followed by a few orderlies flooded the room.

Mike could only stand by and watch in horror as his screaming best friend was shoved onto the bed and injected with a syringe. Within a few moments, Bobby quieted and went limp against the bed.

Susie turned back to Mike as the orderlies lifted Bobby's legs onto the bed. "What happened?"

Mike shook his head sadly. "He asked for his partner."

Immediately Susie's look softened. She knew the story well. "Maybe you should head home, Mr. Logan. He's not going to wake up anytime soon."

Turning his head, Mike looked at his best friend. Finally he nodded at the nurse and left the room.

Outside, storm clouds gathered overhead. Mike couldn't help but think that the sky had looked the same on that fateful day.

It was supposed to be a routine interrogation. Eames went in first, but Ross had held Bobby back for a moment. Just a goddamn moment…

Mike reached his car and leaned against it, feeling sick.

That single moment had been all that Wayne needed. As soon as Alex was within reach, he made his move.

Mike had been in the squadroom with Carolyn when the commotion started. They had immediately sprang into action and gone toward the sound of the struggle. There were several gunshots, followed by the frightening sound of silence. Mike had reached the door first, and he flung it open.

What they had found was an image Mike would never be able to cleanse his mind of.

Wayne was in a corner of the room, his eyes wide and glazed over. His neck was bent in an unnatural fashion. But no one cared about him.

What they did care about was Bobby, who was on his knees in the middle of the room. In his arms was Alex, covered in blood and frighteningly pale. Bobby was holding her as though she was made of the most delicate china, his lips moving in fervent prayer.

"Come on, Eames," Mike could hear him whisper. "Hang on. You're going to be okay."

Then Mike saw Alex's lips move slowly. Behind him, Carolyn called for a bus.

Bobby lowered his head and kissed Alex.

But the next thing that happened made Mike's blood run cold.

Alex's eyes closed, and she went limp in her partner's embrace.

"Alex!"

Mike opened his eyes, his hands shaking. Alex Eames had died in her partner's arms before the ambulance arrived. It had taken half a dozen officers to pull her body out of Bobby's arms, and when they finally managed it, he went into a rage.

Before Mike knew it, Bobby was admitted into Bellevue, diagnosed as having an acute psychotic break. He became catatonic, and Mike was helpless to do anything but watch as his best friend was committed.

That was almost a year ago. Now Mike spent almost every afternoon visiting with his best friend. At the beginning, it had been incredibly hard. Bobby asked to see Alex every day, and most of the time, Mike was able to convince his best friend that Alex was simply busy. It was easier than trying to remind Bobby that Alex had been dead for almost a year.

Mike wiped at his eyes and looked at the building again. At the start, he had hoped that one day, Bobby would be able to come back home. He'd hoped that he would be able to resume his life and somehow find a way to get past Alex's death.

But as the months passed, it became clear to him that the chances of that ever happening were fading. The loss of his partner had shattered Bobby Goren, leaving him a shadow of his formerly great self.

Finally Mike got into his car and shut the door. As he started the engine, he spoke quietly to the heavens above, and to the woman whose death had broken his best friend.

"You shouldn't have left him, Eames." It would have been kinder if he had died with her that night. At least, that was what Mike thought as he pulled out of the parking lot and made a note to visit Alex's grave.

"He'll never be okay again. Not without you."

The End.

A/N: Hope that wasn't too sad for everyone. I just see that, if Alex was murdered in front of Bobby, he would finally lose it. And nothing would save him. At least, that's my opinion. How about you guys? Thanks for reading, and please review!


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